The drunchies

Drunchies: the feeling of extreme hunger after a night of boozing. Often compared to the munchies, the feeling of extreme hunger after smoking Mary J.

I'm torn between two conflicting emotions when it comes to the drunchies... On one hand, nothing prevents a hangover better than a massive burrito before bed. But on the other hand, who wants those burritos adding up and turning into muffin top? Not me.
In the past, two shots deep and I instantly wanted a cheeseburger (or worse, a hot dog from 7-11. Gross, I know). I would devour any and all food in sight and reach; Taco Bell, frozen LeanCuisines, leftover pasta, cold pizza, you name it, I ate it. Once, a best friend and I actually left a party to go eat a giant burrito I had at home. (sliver lining of my anti social, pro drunchie escape: I wasn't hung over the next AM!) Another time a few friends and I consumed a whole bag of half frozen, half microwave cooked pot stickers. (turns out, you don't care too much if you're food is still slightly frozen when the drunchies hit you..) Drinking and the drunchies was the way of the weekends until... muffin top.

Gross ass, hanging over your too-tight-jeans, muffin top.

The drunchies had to stop. No more drunken drive through trips! (If you can only eat the food when your plastered, because really? fast food is nasty, it's ill-advised to eat it at all.) No more leaving parties early to go home and eat burritos. No more eating burritos off the floor (not the highest point in my drunchie consuming history, but a funny story none the less...)! No more wishin', hopin' and prayin' that my parentals brought home leftovers from their dinner out so I could dig in before hittin' the sheets. NO MORE MUFFIN TOP!

Easier said (sober) than done (drunk).

To this day I still get cases of the drunchies but I'm better at not indulging so heavily. For example: last night was another best friends birthday and to celebrate we went out for dinner and to a bar after. Being the safe and responsible individuals that we are, we cabbed it back to my house after the festivities and instead of paying the cabbie extra to drive us through a drive through (haha) we went straight home.

I wish I could say I skipped the cal-fest all together and headed straight to bed but the parentals went out to dinner and brought home leftovers! We had french fries in da house.. (& a 1/2 a cheeseburger, clam chowder, plus a delicious looking piece of cheesecake)

2AM. Drunk. French fries, cold (again, you don't care about the temperature of your food when you have the drunchies...) , w/mustard (we ran out of ketchup). Bed. Except then I found the BBQ chips.. And had a few of those too...

Better than 2AM. Drunk. French fries, cold, w/mustard. BBQ chips. PLUS 1/2 a cheeseburger, clam chowder, and cheesecake.

I woke up this morning without muffin top or a hangover :)

Stay tuned.. -a.