..aaannd maybe I'm physic

My foreshadowing abilities were on point back in January when I devised The Plan and dubbed this months focus to be one concentrating on Universal Energy.

It's like my
hippy dippy,
eat organic, 
plant-based, 
foods, 
go to Farmers Markets 
on Sundays,
do yoga,
believe in the 
healing 
of fresh flowers,
and
the cleansing 
of crying
side of me knew I would need to focus on the positive in my time of unemployment distress.

Almost as if I sensed the struggles of being a college graduate with NO experience would be wearying, but with persistence and constructive thoughts pumping there way into the universe, I would become successful.

...But there's this other side:

This
drink coffee everyday,
2 shots of tequila
and a glass of wine
on the weekends
or
sometimes
on a
Wednesday, 
indulge in 
Fashion Police,
Facebook stalking,
and
gossiping side of me that exists too.

I believe this side is responsible for the consuming negative energy waves associated with the constant rejection of not being hired.

WHY WON'T ANYONE HIRE ME?!

These juicy, delicious dreams I had are the running risk of tapering off, dwindling down......

Try to stay positive.. Try to stay positive.. Try to stay positive..

But really, what job title allows my 4 year degree and 22 year life journey to be experience enough?


Stay tuned.. -a.

PS.
Contact me if you know the answer ;)

pumpkin

I usually attempt to post in my blog 2-3x a month but this months posts have dwindled down to only 1...

My initial reasoning to start writing a blog was to track and record my ongoing effort this year in becoming a happier, more content, individual. I've written a lot about myself, from my views on politics, to my never ending battle with the drunchies, to personal shortcomings... But what I haven't done, thus far, is reflect upon it all. Am I a happier, more content, person?

This months focus was supposed to be to Travel :) but guess what?! Life changed course and I didn't spend the month of September backpacking through Europe like I had planned to do way back in January when I was plotting each month's focus in my journey to become a happier human. So as it turns out, I've already completed most of my travels for the year..

From Reno to try snowboarding (which I found to be an unnatural experience.. moving forward while facing sideways...) within the 1st week of 2012 to San Diego at the end of the month to celebrate 1 year with my boyfriend (we stayed in Little Italy. heaven.on.earth). Next, only a short 3 months later, ventures to both London and New York within April. After international travels and Big Apple adventures, it was time for a Graduation/Celebration gift to Tahoe in June. Then things died down for 2 months- time to prepare for a 2 week expedition: From Cali. (home base) to Eugene, OR (organic food everywhere- love!) to Seattle, WA (birthplace of  Starbucks. represent.) to Penticton, BC (the Napa of Canada- sold.) to Vancouver, BC (my first beluga whale sighting!) back to Oregon (Portland this time) to Redding, Cal-I-For-Ni-A (picture this: flower wallpaper. zebra sheets. cheetah blankets. green carpets. you have the decor of our hotel  room in Redding. delicious.) and finally back home.

My original plans for 2012 have changed- I'm not writing this post from a internet cafe somewhere in Italy, sipping a cappuccino, I'm in my pajamas in my boyfriend's apartment (soon to be our apartment!!!) while he softly snores in bed- but it doesn't matter... Am I happier than I was at the start of 2012? I don't know... I still have 3 months to explore the topic! But I do know I'm happy and content to go crawl into bed, stop the snoring, and wake up tomorrow in October, the best 3 months of the year start tomorrow!*

Stay tuned..-a.

*Tomorrow I will be in full fall bliss. Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin carving, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin pie, pumpkin ANYTHING (!!), chilly weather, cozy nights cuddling, scarves and boots... these are a few of my favorite Fall things..

goodnight America

In an effort to achieve this months focus of Letting it Go, I am officially not stressing about not posting 3 complete blogs this month.

Tomorrow is the 1st, my 2 week vacay is coming to an end, and I simply haven't had the time to blog. I've been too busy eating and drinking and watching my boyfriend complete an Iron Man.

Instead of staying up too late tonight (we have to wake up early to score the best breakfast at our hotel, duh) and suffering from a combination of writers block and beer haze, I'm hitting the sheets after posting this short, non-significant blog about me letting go of the fact that I can't blog 3x this month..

GOOD NIGHT AMERICA*

Stay tuned.. -a.

*and any other countries who are reading this delicious blog ;)

pop culture politics

Disclaimer: I am not a political junkie. I rarely participate in debates about “where our country is going...” Partly because it seems like too big of conversation to ever tackle and partly because I simply don’t know much about the political state of this country. 

I do know political conversations are generally taboo. People are either a DEMOCRAT* or a REPUBLICAN.** I know that by some weird default people tend to hate, argue, disagree, and dispute with whatever the opposing party stands for.

I know I’m a fan of Obama... but, admittedly, it’s more of a pop culture infatuation than it is anything political. 

I know friends who talk about politics, complain about politics, but never take action to evoke change. Occasionally, I am guilty of this. 

I know that maybe I’m rambling and you’re probably wondering what.is.the.point, lady?

And my point, coinciding and contradicting with this months focus to Let It Go, is maybe we let it go to an extreme? We talk and talk and talk about what’s wrong but then let it go...We never do anything about it. (Forgive me for generalizing- when I say “we,” I mean the majority. I recognize some people are out there, doing something.) We have intense, heated conversations with our friends and family and then let it go. Moving on to updating our Facebook, the manipulated cyber images that define us, instead of writing letters to political figures. We go out to the bars instead of protesting. We talk without action. We let it go.

Stay tuned.. -a. 

*Peace, Love, and Rainbows

**”Amurica!”

^Am I stereotyping?

Uptight Hippie

Flower in my hair

This months focus, in order to become a more delightful, happier, person, is to let it go.

(Um, this probably should’ve been my main focus since childhood.............) 

Sometimes some people describe me as a “hippie,” and admittedly, some aspects of my persona are hippie-esk.. Like, I’m a hippie as in I have a heart, peace sign, and flower tattooed on my wrist (love, peace, and a flower in my hair.. for those who don’t know). And I’m a hippie as in I have long hair that I rarely straighten, all natural, baby.* I’m a hippie as in the quotes “drop beats, not bombs,” “make love, not war” and (Marley shout out) “get up, stand up, stand up for your rights...don’t give up the fight” make my insides gurgle with ambition to change the world. 

I am NOT a hippie as in I go with the flow of things. 

If there isn’t a plan... I’m not a fan. 

Bar hopping with friends? Who’s driving? (I hope someone volunteers) Are we cabbing it? (If we do, I hope we run into someone sober who will give us a ride home) Heels or no heels? (HEELS! Heels always win) Dinner out or dinner at home? (dinner at home is cheaper.....) What am I going to have for dinner? What am I going to have for lunch?! What am I going to have for breakfast?!! ...How much money is in my checking account? 

..Don’t think for a second that I haven’t had this exact thought-chain-reaction in my crazy little head!

Every decision in my life, down to what underwear I will wear, is thought out, planned out, figured out. 

I could possibly power a small village with the amount of brain activity I have accumulating from constantly formulating my To Do lists...

Today, driving home from work:

“I have laundry on my bed I have to put away and my bed is still unmade because I was too lazy to both put away my laundry last night, so I slept with it, and to make my bed this morning. I will put my laundry away and then make my bed. Then I will make my lunch for tomorrow before I forget. Then I will shred (Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. It’s a bitch) but my heel kind of hurts (pervious injury from dance..) so I’ll ice it while I blog (doing it right now!) because it is already the 7th and I haven’t blogged this month...... Then I will shred, or maybe I’ll do yoga? because my foot really hurts... FOCUS on your To Dos... MAKE A PLAN... FIGURE.IT.OUT. ...or you’ll go crazy..”

Or am I crazy because of my To Do list obsession and addiction to planning?

Stay tuned.. -a. 

*Before you start rumors, I do shave my armpits.

Snapshots

Recent events have made me more aware of the life guidelines I sometimes forget:

The standard advice; love hard, laugh long, and live fully.

My favorite protocol; eat more foods that are plants instead of manufactured in plants, do yoga, and be quick to pour a glass of wine in times of bonding, venting, or on a random Tuesday night. (I might of made the last one up...)

The cliche sayings; "dance like no one is watching," "dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today," etc...

But most importantly, I think, is revisiting, retelling, and reliving the best times you've had in life.

I have an array of my life's sweetest snapshots to reminisce.....

Long trips to Capitola for nothing but coffee and a memory. 

The way Train songs always take me back to jager bombs and bagels at 10 in the morning. And a Bart ride and muni trip ($50 ticket for neglecting to pay included...) to Golden Gate Park for a free concert on a hot day with close friends.

A pitcher of beer, a salad split for two, and cookies to follow, is my  favorite moment from a vacation to San Diego with my boyfriend.

Walks in the rain to get Mexican hot chocolate and Sex and the City reruns was the norm with a favorite friend.

Every Friday night sleepovers Senior year in high school. "Omg. I'm sooo over high school." (Were we really "over it" or is that just what watching Laguna Beach taught us to say?)

Sipping cup after cup of  Trader Joe's earl gray tea, laughing at the quote printed on the teabag, "as long as it's hot and wet and goes down the right way, that's all that matters." -The Dutchess of York 

Sipping Irish coffees in a New York City bar with my mom and friend who recently moved there, chatting, laughing, crying, over life and love.

Learning to ballroom dance in my grandparents living room as a little girl.

Endless summer hours of Truth, Dare, Double Dog Dare, Promise to Repeat (we were intense), Girl Talk and Crash Banicoot, with friends that became sisters.

Sharing a bottle of wine, baguettes, and conversation with my boyfriend's mom on my first day of my first trip overseas.

Later that same day, where the combination of jet lag, vino, and beer, seduced me into a tipsy slumber at a table of a local London pub.

Camping for my first time, in the rain, with braver than average raccoons. And driving 30 minutes into "town" for coffee in the morning, because really, if you can, why not?

Reading my favorite book, Heart of the Matter, every Fall.

My only college field trip to The Pinnacles, with my passionate geology teacher and best friend. (If only we could all have the passion for anything the way she has for rocks..)

A night in Berkeley that continued into a day in San Francisco, wearing the same dresses the whole time because the moment and the adventure was more important than our double day outfits, with another best friend.

Every second of New York, Boston, and Washington D.C. with the same best friend.

And so on, and so on, and so on...

Occasionally, my mind wonders to the highlights of my existence while I'm driving, but it should happen more. I  should let songs take me back to different, simpler, times. I  should go on  memory lane binges with close friends as often as possible. I want to frequently indulge in past vacation memories and the untainted experiences you can only have during childhood.

I want my favorite snapshots to be a constant reminder of how lucky in life and love I am. Shouldn't we all?

Stay tuned.. -a.

are you ready for this?

As promised in my last post, I'm writing about my opinions on marriage, tattoos, living in a zoo, and politics.

Are you ready for this?

Marriage:
There are many contraindication and confusions about this social obligation spinning around in my head. On one hand, haven't I wanted to get married and have my big day since I was a little girl??? 
...But on the other, do I need a big day, a white dress, a wedding cake (red velvet), and a piece of paper to validate my undying love?

I struggle between the two.

Is the dress, the tuxes, and toasts, the walk down the aisle and the first dance, the tipsy crying and laughing, hugging and loving, the overall the sparkling feeling of being a bride a necessary part in the plot of my life? Does the party and the piece of paper make the permanency of marriage concrete? Do I even believe in the permanency and the context of forever that marriage offers? What if instead of "until death do us part.." it's "until we're not happy anymore, but we promise to try really, really hard to stay happy?" 

Can I do that? 

Because what if marriage is like a diet* and the more you tell yourself 'YOU CAN'T EAT THE CHOCOLATE CAKE," the higher your chances are of finishing the whole thing?! However, if you have the option to eat the cake, there's less pressure. It's not as good because it's not forbidden. 

What if I can't handle the pressure of promising forever? 

Then I just shouldn't get married, right? Wrong. I do want a wedding. I want to pick out a wedding dress with my best friends and hide it from my finance. I want to go venue hunting and food tasting. I want toasts and tears congratulating me and my future husband. Most importantly I want everyone I love to witness my testimony of love... for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, yes (!), of course (!!), but until death do us part.............

I'm going to go eat a whole chocolate cake now.

Moving on with the forever phobe theme... My opinions on tattoos:

I read a quote once: "The only difference between a person with tattoos and a person without tattoos, is the person with tattoos doesn't care if the other has tattoos or not."

It's accurate. 

That being said, the way I felt after getting my first tattoo is probably how I will feel the day after my wedding. I love my tattoo (I'll love my husband). I adore my tattoo (I'll adore my husband). I wouldn't want another tattoo inked permanently into my skin (I don't know how to translate this one..) but forever is forever, and it's a really long time...

Being an animal living in the zoo:

I would be the lazy lion that lapped up the attention and loved the food delivery system.

Politics:
There should be little profit in politics. Politicians should have a teachers salary and teachers should have politicians.

Stay tuned.. -a.

*Hear me out!