commitment phobe?

Summer days of tanning oil and nights of illegal drinking have been long gone. My responsibilities  extended past eat, pool, drink, sleep, repeat when I started college.  I worked through summer vacations during my college years, but my summer schedule changed every year. In fact, my life schedule changed every 3-4 months. With each new semester came new classes, new days I babysat, and new people in my life. I loved it. Each semester was like a new mini chapter in my pretty little life. I took things that worked (ie: later classes) and left things that didn't (ie: early classes) from the previous semester and applied it to the next. My life was constantly changing, constantly evolving. It never had time to get boring.

But.. what now?

The rest of my life is wide open for Bore Fest USA. I'll be expected to have a consistent schedule for longer than 3-4 months. I'll be a slave to structure. Nothing will change. The baristas at one specific Starbucks will begin to know me and my order (Grande Iced Coffee w/2 pumps of White Mocha, a splash of half&half, with whip cream*). I'll become a "regular with the complicated order" instead of the status I currently obtain, "chick with the complicated order," at Starbucks all around the Bay Area.  I'll have a scheduled time to do yoga instead of sitting on my ass for 6 months because I am one of those all-or-nothing annoying people. If I can't fully commit to yoga 3x a week, why do it at all? Wait. This is a positive thing about having a consistent, structured life.............. my next post..................

So.. where am I now?

My summer vacations are vanishing all together. I will probably be taking out piercings before getting  new ones. Thoughts of permanency and judgements that would come from getting another tattoo will keep me awake at night. 10PM will soon become late. While 10AM will be time for my mid-morning snack, instead of the time I used to sleep in until. I'll have to get used to people telling me when to be at work. I'll have to be in the same place, with the same people, for 8 hours a day, for a large number of days. I will run the risk of becoming bored with my thus far, pretty little (lively due to constant change) life, and honestly, I'm freakin'** out.


Stay tuned.. -a.





*I love you Kasey ;)

**freakin' vs. freaking. I debated for about 2 minutes..

San Jose.. The new Big Apple?

I've discovered it is important to take the opportunity to love the places you spend the most time in.  It just adds to your overall happiness, automatically worth it. 

I’ve never dealt well with change. I had my mom walk me to my locker the first weeks of middle school. I cried the first days of high school. I toughened up (a little bit) when I started community college. I didn’t need my mom to walk me to my classes and I didn’t cry. I was doing good. &then she told me we were moving... to Redwood City. About a 20 minute drive from San Mateo, not a big deal. A normal, well-adjusted human could have handled this without a worry.  I, on the other hand, could not get used to my new life in Redwood City. I remember making my mom drive past the Trader Joe’s close to our house, and take me to the one in my old hood. I would tell people I “only slept” in Redwood City but I lived in San Mateo. I still went to school there, worked there, and all my friends were there. 

I eventually came around, started to actually like Redwood City, and even claimed it as my place of residency. I love my little Audrey Hepburn inspired room and I can spend hours on my triple-mattress high bed. I (used to, before I became a lazy sack..) walk up the hill by my house and revel in the beauty of the neighborhood. I’m a frequent at the coffee shop down the street. I’ve transferred pharmacies and don’t dread spending time in our local Trader Joe’s. I’ve accepted my happy life in Redwood City, home. 

But now I’m spending more time even farther down south, San Jose. I go to school there. (I did cry on my first day at State but because I couldn’t find the shuttle stop, not because I couldn’t adjust!) My boyfriend and some friends live down there. My internship is located in the sunny southern city. As mentioned in previous posts, in an effort to justify my lack of physical movement this semester, I walk to my internship from SJSU. Twice a week I walk through the  streets of San Jose. I walk by the homeless people on the corner and behind the busy men and women in their fancy work clothes. I know the oneway streets and J walk when I’m late (everyday). I run across the Light-rail tracks and know where my bank’s ATM is located. I get a rush on the streets on San Jose that I’ve only felt in New York City. 

I visited the Big Apple for the first time when I was 18 and I fell in-love. I wanted to live there. I had to live there one day! I’ll never forget my first experience in New York. I won’t forget my pulse quickening as I stepped off the airport shuttle onto 5th Avenue or the little girl excitement that overcame  me as I walked through Central Park. I won’t forget the simple moment when I spilt a scone and coffee with one of my best friends, and favorite travel buddy, in Greenwich, or the delicious cupcakes we had in a park. Food tasted better there. Life moved at the pace I wanted it to. I was addicted. I had to come back...

And then I did, a few weekends ago, and my dire obsession with moving to New York had faded. The city was fun, but it wasn’t my city. The city didn’t offer me the same life shattering thrills as it had 4 years earlier. The city was the same, but I had changed. 

I still love New York and will continue to visit. I’ll treasure and rave about my traveling days to city that never sleeps but in the end, I want to sleep and live in my cities. My Redwood City and my San Jose. I’ve grown to love these places. 

&Maybe I would grow to love New York City one day too, but I havne’t grown to adapt yet... so for now, San Jose is my new Big Apple. 

Stay tuned.. -a. 

Taken Opportunity

May’s focus involved realizing who I know. It's not what you know, it's who you know, right? 

Current opportunities have proved this to be true in my life. I am interning for a great non-profit right now and start a summer internship with a technology company next month. Did I mention both internships are paid?! Life is good, but I don't feel like writing about my connections for the next month. Therefore, I'm slightly changing the focus. This month will now be about capitalizing on opportunity.

5 years ago I was a semester deep into community college. I didn't have a job, besides random babysitting gigs, and I wasn't necessarily looking for one. I was completely content with walking to school everyday (I lived close and didn't have a car), coming home to the cozy apartment I shared with my mom (rent free lifestyle), and alternating between napping and catching up on hours of Friends and SNL stored on my DVR. 

Along with living a complete lax life, one of my best, most epic, friendships had just begun. We met in dance class on both of our first days of college. I can still remember the early, carefree days of our friendship, getting to know each other through adventures to the City and strolls around school. The time we took the train South instead of North, but it didn’t matter because we had no where to be anyway. Our endless days of sleepovers and endless hours of conversations. Our constant contact because life was still simple. I not only became close to her but her aunt, uncle, and new baby cousin, whom she lived with, became a significant part of my life as well. 

Her aunt was 9 months pregnant the first time I met her. The next time I saw her, she had an adorable baby boy in her arms. I remember sitting in their living room revealing in the preciousness of new life, when she asked me if I was looking for a part-time babysitting job. There I sat, not exactly partaking in the job hunt, but I said yes to the opportunity anyway. 

I started babysitting for their family within the next two months and stayed for two years. A year into babysitting for them, they had another baby. A girl this time. I was honored to stay with both children. Around this time I also started working for another family. I would pick up an older girl from school and drive her to various activities. My babysitting “career” was expanding and it has continually grown. I work for an average of 3 families a week now, ranging from 2 to 3 babysitting jobs a day. 

It has been a good 5 years because I capitalized on an opportunity. I have been able to travel to San Diego over a dozen times, New York, Boston, Washington DC, London, and Hawaii with the money and flexibility babysitting gives me. I buy coffee from Starbucks everyday of my life. I own my own car. I am able to go on adventures and buy magical things. Best of all I’m graduating with a BA in Communication at the end of the month.

It’s a pretty little life.

Stay tuned.. -a.