I'm flaking on dinner with friends tomorrow night, I flaked on movie night yesterday and I'm flaking on day drinking in celebration St. Patrick's Day this Saturday! This weeks constant cancellations aren't because I don't feel like going out but because I'm choosing to work. I babysit to make money. I make my own hours so they can be random and last minute at times. They can also collide with social plans I already have and then I'm left with a choice, work or play?
I wish I could take 100% pride in choosing work most of the time* but the fact is I don't know if I'm always making the right choice. Yes, I need to make money and yes, I make money by providing a service that is unpredictable (I can have four babysitting jobs in a single day or have zero for four weeks..) but is it a valid excuse for disregarding my social commitments? Is it okay for babysitting jobs to be written in pen while dinners, movies, and coffee dates with friends are written in pencil, easily eared with the name of a child and a corresponding time inked in its place?
I struggle in finding the balance between making money while babysitting and spending time with friends. Work vs. play. Survival vs. sanity. Both equally vital to life, so why does work always win?
Stay tuned.. -a.
*read: all of the time... unless I'm out of town or it's some one's birthday.
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