Its sad to think of my lost contact with friends over the years. Friends who knew me so deeply that such a connection can only exist through spending significant amounts of time together. Friends whose lives were intertwined with mine, our daily schedules affecting each others routines. Friends who recognized small things I didn't even realize about myself. Like the (annoying) sipping sound I make EVERY TIME after I sip a Jamba Juice. Or that I always leave shreds of cotton balls in my Vaseline from taking off my makeup. And that I scoot down to the bottom of the bed mid sleep, waking up near my friends feet instead of her head.
Some of these lost connected friends know beauty secrets and products you couldn't pay me to dish about. But they know. They know because they used to get ready with me every weekend.
They know I talk in my sleep and can have a stubborn streak. They know all the boys who've made me cry and the inside jokes that make me laugh. They've heard my stories and know my habits. Parts of my life have been sewed with theirs. We share our own collection of tales from the past but rarely see each other in the present.
One friend who moved away knows about "The Monsters" because she was there with me on my 19th birthday when I had a horrible case and we dubbed it that. That horrible feeling when your nervous and anxious and shaky and you can't really figure out why. It almost feels like butterflies.. But then you realize they must be butterflies on crack or some shit because you're tweaking out.. These are "The Monsters." ...Maybe you still don't even understand what they are but whenever I get a dreaded case of The Monsters, I text this friend, thousands of miles away, and she knows. She still knows.
So even though I flake all the time and it's still a work in progress for me to know what I mean and to mean what I say... even though I've lost touch with these people who used to be my people because of location, or simply because of time, they still know.
Stay tuned.. -a.
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