Reasons it is Okay to Flake

Flaking hasn't been much of a concern lately but maybe that's because I've been too busy to make many plans. Or maybe I am learning to know what I mean and mean what I say.

A few Fridays ago I invited a friend, who I haven't seen in months due to both of our flaky habits, out for a night of bar hopping. It started to rain later in the day and being tipsy on heels in wet weather never sounds too appealing to me so I decided to change plans. Moment of growth: I remembered to tell him I wasn't going out before he called me asking what time I would be ready.

More growth: I made dinner plans last Wednesday but really thought about how high the possibility of me bailing was before I committed. It was low. Wednesday rolled around and I followed through. I even cooked for the event! Turns out quinoa pizza bites aren't as delicious as real pizza but the first batch was passable and the second was almost considered good. (Tip for the inexperienced chef like myself, extra cheese makes everything better.) After dinner we ventured to the hot tub armed with cold beers.

Possible setback: The bad weather continued and so did my lack of motivation to go out. Last Saturday I had to babysit but made plans to stop by a birthday bash when I got off. I ended up getting off later than I was supposed to and it was stormy out. I didn't make it to the birthday party. Is bad weather an excuse for an absence?

This makes me wonder, what does qualify as a legitimate reason to cancel?

My rationale for Reasons it is Okay to Flake are as follows:

1. The weather sucks

2. I have an essay due on Monday and didn't read the required length... now I have 2 days (instead of the 2 weeks my professor gave me) to write 10 pages.

3. Pretty much anything family related. Sorry friends..

4. I have an opportunity to make money aka babysit.

5. Something better came up. (Kidding! I'm not the shameless..)

6. I don't want to drive.

7. Being in bed just sounds better.

8. I don't actually like you that much and I agreed because I felt corned.

9. I was drunk when we made plans.

10. There is a marathon of reality TV deliciousness on.

My justification for flaking are, admittedly, pretty loose but remember I am really trying to know what I mean and mean what I say so I'm not tempted to bail.

Stay tuned.. -a.

And the winner is...

& I just flaked.. again.

I'm flaking on dinner with friends tomorrow night, I flaked on movie night yesterday and I'm flaking on day drinking in celebration St. Patrick's Day this Saturday! This weeks constant cancellations aren't because I don't feel like going out but because I'm choosing to work. I babysit to make money. I make my own hours so they can be random and last minute at times. They can also collide with social plans I already have and then I'm left with a choice, work or play?

I wish I could take 100% pride in choosing work most of the time* but the fact is I don't know if I'm always making the right choice. Yes, I need to make money and yes, I make money by providing a service that is unpredictable (I can have four babysitting jobs in a single day or have zero for four weeks..) but is it a valid excuse for disregarding my social commitments? Is it okay for babysitting jobs to be written in pen while dinners, movies, and coffee dates with friends are written in pencil, easily eared with the name of a child and a corresponding time inked in its place?

I struggle in finding the balance between making money while babysitting and spending time with friends. Work vs. play. Survival vs. sanity. Both equally vital to life, so why does work always win?

Stay tuned.. -a.

*read: all of the time... unless I'm out of town or it's some one's birthday.

The Flaking Flaw

March. Know What You Mean, Mean What You Say.

My name is Ashley, and I'm a flake.

Copious amounts of stress will be lifted from my life if I can master this months resolution. I have a nasty little habit of making plans without really committing to them. If you are a close friend, or even an acquaintance, I've probably made plans with you and then flaked on you.

It's not that I mean to be a flaky friend. It's just with the combination of my inability to say no to social events and my contradicting home-body persona, the end result, more often than not, is a cancellation. I let my excitement get the better of me and agree to every.plan.ever. In the moment, I want to do it. I want to do it all! But fast forward a week, a day, or sometimes even an hour, and my excitement has drained. Next thing I know I'm dialing and praying for voicemail to inform the victim of my reckless planning habits that I can't* go out.

It's becoming tiresome for me, and I'm sure annoying for my friends, so this month I will learn how to know what I mean, and mean what I say. I won't let my enthusiasm for future events sway me if I'm not 100% sure it sounds better than staying in bed and watching Bethenny, Newlyweds (remember Nick and Jessica?!), Jersey Shore, or any other reality TV on DVD I own. I will commit to keeping plans instead of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Stay tuned.. -a.

*Read, don't want to

FOOD NOISE.. vs. FOOD VOICE

The extra day in February gives me time to squeeze in one last post before the month is over and I'm done posting about the resolution of this month, dealing w/"food noise." Except have I even written about this "food noise" I speak of? Not really... So maybe I'm doing things a little backwards this month and explaining the entire focus of the month at the end of the month..

Being a female, and growing up in America, I can't help but think about my body image. I have been raised in a society that thinks being skinny is being beautiful. I' m bombarded with images making me believe thin is in. I have fallen victim to the media and their unrealistic photo- shopped models and bony celebrities. A force that is greater than myself has made me question if I should have had that last slice of pizza.

I am currently at a healthy body weight but I would be lying if I claimed to be happy about it everyday*. Some days I want to be smaller. There are days when I obsess over everything I eat, the weight on my scale, how I feel I need my body to be in order to be beautiful. It's completely ludicrous, actually. My BMI (Body Mass Index) is 19.4, 0.9 away from being underweight (!!!) for my height, and some days I still want to be less.

I want to be less to feel like more.. It's a sad struggle but to deny that I don't deal with it would enable me from writing about what helped me overcome dealing w/"food noise" (mostly**).

As mentioned in other posts, I am a reality TV junkie and my absolute fave is Ms. Bethenny Frankel. Some of you might know she wrote a book called Naturally Thin, which has helped me deal with my, what she describes, "food noise." (Some of you also might make fun of me for buying and reading a diet book written by my favorite reality show star but I.don't.care.) Bethenny says food noise is what "...yells in your ear all day long, making you fell bad- or good, if you lost a few pounds, as if a two-pound water-weight loss makes you a better person" (Frankel, 2009, p. 24). She goes on to describe the difference between your food noise and your food voice. Your food noise allows you to binge on an entire box of cookies (it is Girl Scout cookie season, ya feel me?) because you had one cookie, so your whole day of healthy eating and food restriction is shot anyway. Your food voice tells you when you're really hungry and when you really just want a damn cookie and that it's okay to have whatever you want in moderation.

Bethenny has more helpful guidelines in her book, like Your Diet Is a Bank Account and You Can Have It All, Just Not All at Once. Dealing with my food noise was struggle but after reading her book in it's entirety, my food noise grew weaker and my food voice stronger. I don't let food stress me out anymore. It's not worth it. On an average day 90% of my food choices are good ones and that's good enough. I'm at a healthy weight and, despite having some days where my food noise is extra amped for whatever reason, I'm happy.

Stay tuned.. -a.

*IMPORTANT note: I am happy MOST days..

**Since I am a human being, and therefore not perfect, I still have my "some days" when I drank too much the night before or ate the entire burrito because the perfect combination of meat, beans, rice, guac, salsa, and sour cream, all wrapped up in a warm whole wheat tortilla was too delicious to ever stop

Frankel, B. (2009). Naturally thin. New York, NY: Fireside.

The drunchies

Drunchies: the feeling of extreme hunger after a night of boozing. Often compared to the munchies, the feeling of extreme hunger after smoking Mary J.

I'm torn between two conflicting emotions when it comes to the drunchies... On one hand, nothing prevents a hangover better than a massive burrito before bed. But on the other hand, who wants those burritos adding up and turning into muffin top? Not me.
In the past, two shots deep and I instantly wanted a cheeseburger (or worse, a hot dog from 7-11. Gross, I know). I would devour any and all food in sight and reach; Taco Bell, frozen LeanCuisines, leftover pasta, cold pizza, you name it, I ate it. Once, a best friend and I actually left a party to go eat a giant burrito I had at home. (sliver lining of my anti social, pro drunchie escape: I wasn't hung over the next AM!) Another time a few friends and I consumed a whole bag of half frozen, half microwave cooked pot stickers. (turns out, you don't care too much if you're food is still slightly frozen when the drunchies hit you..) Drinking and the drunchies was the way of the weekends until... muffin top.

Gross ass, hanging over your too-tight-jeans, muffin top.

The drunchies had to stop. No more drunken drive through trips! (If you can only eat the food when your plastered, because really? fast food is nasty, it's ill-advised to eat it at all.) No more leaving parties early to go home and eat burritos. No more eating burritos off the floor (not the highest point in my drunchie consuming history, but a funny story none the less...)! No more wishin', hopin' and prayin' that my parentals brought home leftovers from their dinner out so I could dig in before hittin' the sheets. NO MORE MUFFIN TOP!

Easier said (sober) than done (drunk).

To this day I still get cases of the drunchies but I'm better at not indulging so heavily. For example: last night was another best friends birthday and to celebrate we went out for dinner and to a bar after. Being the safe and responsible individuals that we are, we cabbed it back to my house after the festivities and instead of paying the cabbie extra to drive us through a drive through (haha) we went straight home.

I wish I could say I skipped the cal-fest all together and headed straight to bed but the parentals went out to dinner and brought home leftovers! We had french fries in da house.. (& a 1/2 a cheeseburger, clam chowder, plus a delicious looking piece of cheesecake)

2AM. Drunk. French fries, cold (again, you don't care about the temperature of your food when you have the drunchies...) , w/mustard (we ran out of ketchup). Bed. Except then I found the BBQ chips.. And had a few of those too...

Better than 2AM. Drunk. French fries, cold, w/mustard. BBQ chips. PLUS 1/2 a cheeseburger, clam chowder, and cheesecake.

I woke up this morning without muffin top or a hangover :)

Stay tuned.. -a.

Sold on Samovar Sundays

I'm hesitant to post about the gem of a eatery my boyfriend and I go to in an effort to decrease a future wait for a table... but will share anyway. Some of you San Fran adventure loving folk may already know of this treasure, but others might still be missing out on the secret. The secret of Samovar, that is. Samovar is a tea lounge and is the real San Francisco Treat if you ask me. Creatively dubbed "the tea lounge" by me and Boyfriend (do you know how to pronounce "Samovar?") it has become a monthly ritual to eat here.

Which brings me back to Sunday...

Another ritual we partake in are Farmers Markets, although this happens on a weekly basis instead of monthly. Sundays usually began with Balieys and coffee (we walk there, ok?) plus a trip to the local Farmers Market. Who doesn't love the Farmers Market, the fresh food for your week, the sounds of local musicians playing sweet tunes in the background, the falafel (!), the kettle corn, the all around goodness that is the Farmers Market? I'm sold.

So 3 out of 4 Sundays, we hit up the Farmers Market and then go on with the rest of our day... but on 1 magical Sunday a month, we go to Samovar as well. Last Sunday was Samovar Sunday.

My taste buds are adventures and rarely come across something they don't like. I enjoy every vegetable from broccoli to brussel sprouts, every cut of meat and kind of fish from lamb to squid,* and every type of food from India to Italian. Aside from spicy mustard and cilantro I can't think of a thing I dislike.

On Sunday I enjoyed a curry egg salad sandwich with sliced fuji apple on whole wheat ciabatta and a side salad with tarragon-balsamic vinaigrette. Boyfriend, who has less thrill-seeking taste buds, opted for his favorite ginger quinoa waffles. Safer choice, equally delish. Some duos may find it nice to share a pot of tea when dining on delectable bites at Samovar, we do not. We are equal parts selfish and stubborn. While I enjoy black teas with milk he enjoys every other tea, so we each get our own pot. And while he tries a new tea every month, I've stuck to the same delicious (and organic! bonus points, w/o a doubt) Lapsang Souchong. An "ancient and smoky" tea, that is "delicious with milk and sugar" every time we've been there.

Our Samovar Sundays are my favorite Sundays. Some of my favorite things; healthful, fresh foods in unique combinations, black** tea, time with Boyfriend in The City by the Bay, all experienced in one day. Again, I'm sold.

Stay tuned.. -a.


*Is squid a fish? Whatever, you get my point. &So what if I can't eat the tiny squid bodies if they're still intact? Those battered and deep-fried rings are squid as well and delicious as ever.

**only pitfall Samovar has, no coffee.. but black tea = next best thing.

nom nom nom nom

Eight days into feb and I'm finally bloging... It took me a week (or so..) to start this months resolution but I would be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about it everyday.

I am excited for February's "food noise" resolution. January "know thyself" was fun (at first) and somewhat beneficial but how many self-revaluations can a girl have in a month- ya feel me? Compared to this months resolution, dealing with food, hello- I eat everyday, I'll have oodles to blog about. (If I can get off Facebook for long enough to BLOG ABOUT IT...)

I consider nutrition an interesting subject (I'd probably major in it if tons of bio classes weren't required) and if you know me at all, you know I'm obsessed with organic foods, Trader hoes, and nutrition labels. Those "8 sliming foods" or "healthy snacks to grab on the go" articles are reading candy for me. I've had friends ask me for noshing advice on more than one occasion. Admittedly, I probably get annoying at times with my constant advocation for healthy alternatives opposed to the crap some people consider food but what is more important than what you eat?! Rule of thumb: if you can't pronounce what's in your food, WHY are you putting it into your body!?

Is this to say I've never consumed sodium erythorbate or microcrystalline cellulose before? No. Hell no. But given the option, I'll take REAL food over processed. Sometimes I don't have the option to choose real foods*... if I'm having dinner at a friend's house, do you think I ask if I can pronounce all the ingredients she used? No. I'm a healthy eater, not a bitch. So this month (or at least what's left) I will blog about my insights on food choices as a health-conscious, non-bitchy (for the most part..) eater.

Stay tuned.. -a.

*I could pull the "I'm a busy girl and have to grab what's the fastest" card right now but I RARELY have to play that way because I plan ahead. I am seriously perplexed when people don't take the time to plan what foods they allow in their body. This might sound like I'm getting preachy, and maybe I am? but what is more important than what you eat? And how much time does it really take to put some veggies in a baggie and hummus in a container? Or to grab an apple and string cheese? Throw some nuts in your purse (or car if you're a dude?) and you'll always be prepared with a healthy go-to snack.